Sir Matchalot,

I was in a great relationship for more than ten years with a astonishing girl. She was extraordinarily hot looking, intelligent, and had a great job, many friends and a loving family.

Unfortunately, we met when we were both very young and in our early twenties, and after growing older we also started to grow away from each other. After a difficult final year we both determined it would be better to call it quits.

Since that moment in time, which was now about three years ago, I have tried to date four other women. Every time the relationship only lasted approximately two to three months max and then ended promptly because none of them could compare to my former relationship. Of the four women I have dated since then, one was an older woman, two were about my same age and one was almost ten years younger than me.

In a nutshell, I now feel like my dating life has no prospect. I am really struggling to find a girl who can match up to to my old girl and I am also now wondering if I have made a huge misstep in ending something that was so remarkable except I just didn’t recognize it at the time.

I am getting a tad anxious and am hoping you can tell me what to do.

Signed – The guy who blew a nice thing.

Dear Guy who blew a good thing,

OK, first things first. If I am reading your letter correctly, I just want to confirm that you got dumped. I feel it is essential that you stop fooling yourself and live up to the facts as they are. It is always easier to deal with a problem if you are able to tackle it truthfully.

Step two – it seems like you are now in a rut and so are compensating by dating whoever comes along, whether they are the right style of person for you or not.

What you need to do ASAP is develop a plan of attack, so to speak. If you are going to find someone who is right for you, you are going to have to figure out what precisely that means and then take the steps needed to meet those kinds of girls.

For example, are you looking for an older woman? Or, did you take pleasure in the younger woman more. Or maybe those closest to your own age were best? These are the kind of questions you must to ask yourself before wasting more time just drifting about.

If you are looking for the youthful party types, then you need to go to more bars and approach women there. If you are looking for marriage, then church and other social groups are a decent place to start. If you just want new friends to hang out with and be casual, then you can try one of the many free friend finder sites online.

Just don’t hurry things and take your time as you consider developing a deeper link with the girls you meet. Once you find a girl who looks promising, take your time getting to know her before committing too deeply.

Not only do you need a strategy for finding a girl, you’ll need one for keeping her as well. So, make a decision early and decide speedily if someone is a keeper or not. If not, get out fast. If yes, then do all the things needed to persuade and keep a woman. Flowers, poems, romantic dinners, joking, and being a first-rate listener are all excellent places to start.

Hope this helps and good luck! Don’t’ give up as there is categorically someone out there perfect for you!

Sir Matchalot is a dating and relationship expert who also happens to work for the world’s fastest, easiest and most fun online friend finder site at http://www.matchalot.com. Email your relationship questions to info@matchalot.com.

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