Step parenting is a hard and challenging task even for the best of parents. Step family unions are usually due to death of someone in the first family or the breaking apart of the first family from divorce. Children, no matter how old they are have issues with the creation of this new found family known as a blended family. This family consists of two parents with both usually having their own children.
Great relationships are impossible between stepparents and stepchildren at first. Be patient, however, stepparents do need to ask for respect. Letting your stepchildren walk all over you is not the way to build your relationship with them. The love and major bonding will come later. This type of relationship probably will not be instantaneous. Always encourage trust between each other, however, trust is a two way street and without this the relationship may take longer to develop. Children as well as you need time to adjust to the significant life change.
When becoming a stepparent the conversation of, you are not my parent is inevitable and it will definitely be hard to avoid. Make sure to assure the stepchild or children that you are not trying to replace their mother or father. Let them know that you want to be their friend. The friendship you provide may be the way to building the relationship you want with your stepchild or children.
All stepparents should try to make one-on-one time with their stepchild or children. This way you get to know them as individuals instead of just part of the new family they have been thrown into. The one-on-one step parenting time may be difficult, because the child or children may not have such an open mind to the idea as you do.
One of the most important things as a stepparent or as a parent to do is put the needs of the children first. If this means a slight inconvenience for you then work around it and make things accommodate to the change. Whether it is your biological children or your stepchildren they will remember you cooperating with them. But do not show favoritism to any of the children. It may be detrimental to all involved.
Step parenting can reap havoc on the new marriage. Remember to take time out for you and your spouse. The marriage, like any other marriage demands alone time. The time you spend nurturing your new marriage will also help improve your new blended family lifestyle.

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